Friday, March 25, 2011

How DARE you call yourself a sandwich!

YOU sir are NO sandwich!

Dear open-faced sandwich,

You are nothing but a pile of food atop a single slice of bread, and that, does not a sandwich make. More appropriately, you are some kind of mound of toppings heaped onto a bread plate. If this it all it takes to be a sandwich, then pizza must be a sandwich too, and I REFUSE to live in THAT world kind sir. If I must eat you with a fork, a sandwich, you are not.

Now, I know what you must be saying false-sandwich:

"B-b-but, my contents are too plentiful! Another slice of bread would make me too tall and awkward!"

Then I suggest you cease this charade and become two sandwiches! Then, at least you can stop lying to yourself and others, and the healing can begin. Until you can come to terms with yourself and create your own identity, we shall no longer enjoy each others company. GOOD DAY SIR!

26 comments:

  1. abomination, sandwich 2+ slices

    ReplyDelete
  2. This made me laugh so hard. I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. We need more men like you in the world, FIGHT THE POWER!

    ReplyDelete
  4. as long as it has FUCKIN' BACON i'm set for life

    ReplyDelete
  5. that sandwhich ate its family....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sandwiches of death lolol!

    Awesome post, new follower!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm more of a 3 tier sandwich guy myself.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like to have 3 tier sandwhich's also. They rock.

    ReplyDelete
  9. great food, that's a healthy band wagon

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is the 3rd blog I've read today about food.

    ReplyDelete
  11. looks and sounds awesome

    followed

    ReplyDelete
  12. Haha made me chuckle for some reason! :D

    ReplyDelete
  13. damn wana be sandwiches, i blame them for the bad economy!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. It's looks weird, i will not eat you :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. What should they call it? I've never had an open faced sandwich because they scare me. Put a top on sandwich!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Looks delicious whatever you call it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. NOM NOM NOM
    picture loooks delishhh
    followed :)

    ReplyDelete